1. There isn't any iceberg
  2. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean
  3. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon
  4. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg
  5. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly
  6. The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
  7. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats
  8. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them
  9. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors
  10. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats
  11. I really don't think we need that many lifeboats
  12. We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats
  13. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship
  14. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg