Trump Humor

Videos:

  1. Trump vs God smackdown
  2. "Confounds the Science" (to the tune of "Sound of Silence"), by the Parody Project
  3. More videos from ParodyProject.com
  4. "A Spoonful of Clorox" (to the tune of "A Spoonful of Sugar"), by Randy Rainbow
  5. Dana Berger: Grandma Goes Off On Trump
  6. "The Day Democracy Died" sung by The Founding Fathers
  7. "Vote Him Away (The Liar Tweets Tonight)"
  8. "The Coronavirus Lament", by Randy Rainbow
  9. Calendar of Trump's Coronavirus statements
  10. Trump denying Coronavirus, then suddenly crying "pandemic"
  11. Even children mock sad pathetic little Donny
  12. Alfred Hitchcock: Trump killed the GOP
  13. Jordan Klepper (The Daily Show) interviews stupid Trump fans at a rally
  14. Trump 2020 Campaign Video Ad
  15. "It Is What It Is" sung by Miss Laurie Lehner & the Band Aides

Other Collections:

  1. The New Yorker's "Borowitz Report"
  2. CadetBoneSpurs Facebook page

Slideshow Other Albums

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A leader walks with his people.  A tyrant has to be protected from them.

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In 2016, 50-60 million people voted for Hilary.  50-60 million people voted for Trump.  And 70-90 million people DIDN'T BOTHER TO VOTE. 

Be sure to get out and vote in 2020!  Your vote matters!


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More "really stable geniuses"!  Maybe one of them will grow up to be President someday.  Their parents will be so proud!

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Putin to Trump: "Russia thanks you for your service!"

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Pulling away from the pack...  USA!  USA!  USA!  We're #1! Go, Trump! 

Looks like Trump's wall is a huge success!  Other countries are building them all around the US, to keep us out!


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Trump really does have "foot in mouth disease", doesn't he?

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Someone finally built a statue to honor Trump.  Made of 100% genuine American BS, collected directly from his mouth as he spoke!

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Trump Tonic!  Get yer Trump Tonic here!
3 parts Lysol.  1 part Pine Sol.  Guaranteed to kill what ails you!


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The "Emptysburg Address"
"Really YUGE" crowd at Trump rally in Tulsa on Sat 6/20/2020!

Trump got played by a bunch of teenagers on TikTok.  They signed up for hundreds of thousands of tickets they never intended to use.

Trump said on Monday: "We expect to have, you know, it's like a record-setting crowd.  We've never had an empty seat.  And we certainly won't in Oklahoma."

He claimed 3 days in advance that there were "lines of people right now trying to get into the arena", camping out so they could get the best seats.  He considered also renting out the 40,000 seat convention hall next to the arena.  He paid a fortune to have them build a special temporary outdoor stage, so he could speak to the crowd of "over a million" attendees that would vastly overflow the 19,000 arena seats.  See the video of Trump and Fox News folks making these claims.  That stage was quickly removed when almost no one showed up.

The Tulsa fire marshall says there were less than 6,200 scanned tickets.  Even the Trump campaign only claims 12,000, counting an additional 6,000 in campaign staff, press and special guests.  The arena was 1/3 to 2/3rds full, and no overflow. 

So he abandoned social distancing and packed them all together in the lower tier, most without masks.  Just to make it look crowded in the carefully framed photos and videos.  But someone still got this shot of the empty upper tier.  A single red fan in a sea of empty blue seats.

I wonder how many Trump fans will die of Coronavirus for attending this rally?  And how many of their friends, family, neighbors, etc.

All to stroke Trump's fragile ego.  Sad...


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Big news!  The Democrats are now manipulating Trump.  Controlling the narrative.  Forcing him to defend his fragile ego.

At his rally in Tulsa, Trump spoke for 100 minutes, and spent more than 10 of them defending his inability to lift a glass of water, and his slow walk down the West Point ramp.  He's very concerned that people might think he's weak.  He explained the water glass as:
  • Had to salute each of 600 cadets and his arm got tired
  • "Sun pouring down on me"
  • "I was on the stage for hours -- hours!"
  • Afraid to spill water on his "expensive red silk tie"
He explained his slow walk as:
  • Wearing slippery leather-soled shoes
  • "Ramp was like an ice-skating rink" [in the intense hot sun?]
  • No handrail
  • Afraid to "fall on his ass" with press watching
He even felt the need to demonstrate his ability to drink one-handed.  And to re-enact the slow walk.  Here's a 3 second looping clip and some clips from his 10 minutes of explanation.
Note: You have to click these links, not the image above that looks like it contains a Play button (but doesn't).  I'll eventually fix that, but not today.  So many Trump stupidities, so little time...

Some other oddities:
  • He saluted "almost 600 times", but he says there were "1,106 cadets".  Did he salute only some of them?  Maybe only the white ones?

  • He was halfway through bragging about the "nice tan" he got standing in the sun, when he suddenly switched gears.  Remembered that he was supposed to be complaining about the sun and the overheating that led to his inability to lift a glass of water.  Switched to "Meaning -- meaning I had a nice sunburn."

  • Claims he "ran down the last 10" feet, but says:
      "their tape?  Take a look.  In almost every instance, it ends just before the run."
    I've only seen one video, but it doesn't end early.  It clearly shows him regaining his balance after exiting the ramp.  Even shows him strutting around for a few seconds afterwards, looking to see if anyone's laughing at him.
As I warned here, Trump is easily manipulated.  By the Democrats, by special interest groups, by foreign powers, etc.

Sad, pathetic, little Donny...


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Make America Dead Again -- Parscale Claims 300K Are Coming to Tulsa Auditorium That Holds 19K For Trump Rally

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The 1st step is admitting you have a problem.  Be strong!  Throw away your MAGA hat!

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The Greatest Country on Earth!

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Now there's an office I'd like to see him win!

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How's that bunker, bitch?  We've never seen it.

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Get your own "Bunker Donnie" doll

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Beware: Weapons of Math Instruction!

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Trump finally makes the cover of Time Magazine:  "TIME to go"

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Just UNDO it!

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Now that's how you take a knee!

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"Fake News" means "I'm too stupid to debate the facts"

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Obama wouldn't have.  He's not a moron.

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Here's a poll you can really believe!

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Some "really stable geniuses" protesting the tyranny of being forced to not die from the Coronavirus.  Or are they just asking people to vote for their favorite stripper at the local club?

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All Americans must be accompanied by an adult

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Dr Deborah Birx, Trump's hand-picked White House coronavirus response coordinator, reacts to Trump's suggestion we inject disinfectants like bleach into people's bodies to cure Coronavirus.  She has no idea what to say to such a stupid idea.

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Dr Anthony Fauci, of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, tries not to laugh as Trump says one more idiotic thing.  More GIFs like this.

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Stay home like "Bonespurs" Trump did during Vietnam

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Step right up!  Do your duty!  Open for business!  Left... Left... Left, right, left...

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Get out there and start booming!

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Now he tells me...

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This is how people see you the moment you say "libtard".

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Fauci refuses to say when it would be safe to reopen Trump's mouth

187 days till a real president...


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Cutting your own hair in lockdown

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CNN to show phone number of poison-control hotline whenever Trump speaks

187 days till a real president...


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Trump blames plummeting poll numbers on people paying attention when he talks

189 days till a real president...


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Eating Tide Pods -- Cause or effect?

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Trump advises states facing bankruptcy to borrow millions from their dads

192 days till a real president...


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Chlorox chewables -- the presidential treat!

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You can put your name on all the stimulus checks...
if they can put Biden's name on all the ballots.


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Trump was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo, when suddenly a donkey jumped out onto the road and they hit it full on.  Trump said to the chauffeur, 'You get out and check, you were driving.'

The chauffeur got out, checked and reported that the animal was dead.  "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," said Trump.

Hours later, the chauffeur returned totally plastered, hair ruffled, and with a big grin on his face.  "What the hell happened to you?" asked Trump.

The chauffeur replied, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a wonderful meal and the daughter took me upstairs and made love to me."

"What on earth did you say to them?" asked Trump.

"I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, 'I'm Trump's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass.'"


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  1. There isn't any iceberg
  2. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean
  3. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon
  4. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg
  5. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly
  6. The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
  7. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats
  8. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them
  9. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors
  10. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats
  11. I really don't think we need that many lifeboats
  12. We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats
  13. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship
  14. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg


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Mail from the #MAGAt's, asking for a Trump donation?  Send this, designed by my friend Jerry!  Why?
  1. Postage-paid envelope costs them
  2. Supports the US Postal System
  3. Reduces your recycling costs -- stuff all their paper back in the envelope, and other unrelated junk mail too
  4. Confuses their tiny little #MAGAt brains.  They ask multiple levels of management what to do.  Wastes time, effort, computer resources.
  5. They may send you another envelope -- do it again
  6. If they try to deposit it, may cost them bank charges
The gift that keeps on giving!

Even better, ask how to make a truly YUGE donation.  String them along like Tom Mabe does with telemarketers.


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Got any "executive orders" you need signed?  Here ya go! 

Hmmm... Is that really Trump's signature?  Or a graph of the stock market since he took office?  Chaotic, volatile, and ending on a major downstroke!


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Trump:  No!  Put my name on the STIMULUS CHECKS, not on the DEATH CERTIFICATES!

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Emperor has no clothes, but only Fauci admits it

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Some hilarious articles (just the headlines are enough to crack me up -- every single one of them!) at The Borowitz Report.

Here's one:

Fauci Begs Pharma Companies to Speed Development of Anti-Narcissism Drug

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- Stating that "time is of the essence," Dr. Anthony Fauci is imploring the nation's pharmaceutical companies to fast-track the development of a drug to treat narcissism.

Acknowledging that narcissistic-personality disorder has historically been resistant to medication, the esteemed virologist said that a breakthrough drug was "urgently needed."

"I have seen the toll that narcissism takes, day in, day out," Fauci said. "The human cost is incalculable."

Without offering scientific evidence or data, Fauci argued, "Successfully treating one narcissist could substantially reduce the misery and suffering of millions."

The epidemiologist said that, as soon as a promising anti-narcissism drug is developed, he would "personally mastermind" its clinical trials.

For the purpose of those trials, Fauci said, it would be optimal to manufacture the drug as a pill or anything else "that could be easily crushed and dissolved in a Diet Coke."


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You billionaires doing alright?  Need any more money?

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The entire world laughs at Sad Little Donny

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Throw them all out, not just Trump

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Trump's not running to be re-elected.  He's running to avoid prison.

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I know things seem grim, but I have good news:  my TV ratings are as good as a season finale of "The Bachelor"!!

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More good news!  My TV ratings are HUGE!!

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Look everybody, I'm number one on Facebook

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Trump is a "post tortoise":  Didn't get up there by himself.  Doesn't belong up there.  Doesn't know what to do.  Elevated beyond his ability.  What kind of dumb ass put him up there?

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Definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Sound like anyone you know?

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Make America Trump Free Again

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Dan Rather:  Forget Trump.  He's not coming to your rescue.

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Have you corpses SEEN MY RATINGS?

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Ego of a 13-year-old girl!  Oops!  Sorry 13-year-old girls...  You are much more mature than Trump!

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So if the bible says we should help the poor, welcome the foreigner, heal the sick, respect others, not lie, not commit adultery, and not steal, then why do we support Donald Trump?

Oh, Bill, we don't actually practice these things.  We only preach them.


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Better ratings than "The Bachelor"

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Go back.  We messed up.

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Anyone can grow up to be president?

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Remember when politicians were the best and brightest?

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Obama vs Trump inauguration crowds

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"Tricky Dick" 
"Icky Dick"


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Trump staring directly at eclipse

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"J" for "Genius"

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1st blackmailed president

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Rex Tillerson: Trump is a moron

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What working looks like

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Bond vs Moron

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Wettest ever, from the standpoint of water

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Trump rezines

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It's like Watergate, but with morons

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Uh...  Wait...  Left hand where?

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Like a rock!  Only dumber!

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President should not be stupidest person in the country.  Doh!

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If Trump gets dementia, how will we know?

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Trump alphabet soup

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Elect a clown, expect a circus